Ted Lasso is a brilliant show. Brilliant writers, actors and story lines. I was hooked on day one. But this season has hit me on a whole other level. The last two episodes in particular have lifted the veil on some effective therapy techniques and you may not have even realized it.
Episode 10: Before Rebecca went into the board room with all those men to discuss forming a
“super league”, she stood in front of the mirror and instantly saw the child version of herself. This is a technique commonly used in therapy. Visualize what the little version of you needs. What are the wounds the inner child has that you can heal by doing things differently this time as an adult?
At the Hoffman Process I learned that we either adapt, adopt or rebel against what those who raised us taught us. There are always going to be wounds and traumas from childhood. It can be something as small as getting scolded by your teacher for not following the color by numbers properly (this happened to me in Kindergarten) or something as extreme as death of a parent or fleeing your country because of war.
These inner children want to be heard. They want the adult version of you to see them. To know what hurt them and ask them how you can heal it now as an adult. Next time you are triggered by something, ask yourself if you can trace it back to something in your childhood. Go inward and ask what you are feeling. And ask how old you are. And what that inner child needs. You might be surprised at their answer.
Episode 11: The Big F You. Ted has a conversation with his mother where he both thanks her and tells her to F off in the same breath. Multiple times. This happens to be my favorite technique my therapist uses with me. I have used it four times and all four times it has helped me heal from the experiences that caused me pain.
I absolutely LOVE this exercise. You can do it outloud with your therapist like I have done or you can do it solo, on paper. But what you do is simply decide what you need to resolve/heal from. And then you just go back and forth. F*ck you _____ for _______. Thank you ______ for ______.
For me, I have done it post divorce, post the painful breakup following my divorce, leaving my toxic job and leaving Texas. For example I said “F*ck you, Texas for giving me Covid the first month I moved there and making me suffer through it alone. Thank you, Texas for showing me I am strong enough to overcome anything on my own.”
You can take a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle and Write “F You” on one side and “Thank You” on the other. Go as long as you need to.
It is truly a liberating and healing exercise. It balances both expression and compassion. Such a powerful combo.
All of us need healing from something. We carry traumas from childhood into adulthood and sometimes are not aware how they affect us personally and professionally.
Try these two techniques flawlessly executed by Rebecca and Ted and see where it gets you. Or speak to your therapist about trying them out.
We all have traumas from our parents, bosses, friends or co-workers. Let’s normalize talking about healing and moving on.
Let’s Grow! 🌱